My grandmother got married when she was about 14 and gave birth to her first child, my mother, Sivapakiam when she was about 16. She became a widow in her late 40s. She was an independent person. She took up responsibilities seriously. She was very hardworking. No matter what the work was and the quantity, she did not shy away from work. Whatever her husband, my grandfather, earned was enough only for provisions and for his own expenses. She sought extra income to take care of other needs of the family, like bringing up the family, investing in a piece of land of her own and later on to get her daughters married off.
Besides taking care of the household, she also took care of a few goats, some cows, calves and a few bulls so that she could earn some money by selling fresh cows’ or goats’ milk and by selling the bulls when they reached a certain age. Sad were the days when a lorry arrived to take away the bull she was selling but she had to do it to make ends meet. She took the cattle out regularly for grazing around the Siglap/Opera Estate area where there were several huge ponds. Some of her older grandchildren used to follow her as she brought the cattle out for grazing so that they could play around the ponds. Her constant command was for them not to “go here and there” but be in the vicinity. She reared some chicken and geese and sold the eggs after the family’s requirement was met. She also reared turkey that was sold out during Christmas to Christian families. She was loving with the cows and goats and named them, Letchumi, Karuppayee and others. She usually scolded the chicken and turkeys for leaving their droppings randomly around, close to the house. She kept a dog to look after the house. My grandmother also maintained a vegetable patch where brinjal, Lady’s Fingers, tomatoes, bitter gourd, and greens such as Thausamurungai (in Tamil) and the drumstick tree flourished. She also tended the jambu, mango and coconut trees. The yield from this vegetable garden satisfied the needs of a growing family for many years. She only bought from the market requirements like rice, fish, and other vegetables like cabbage and cauliflower, and later on carrots, when they reached the neighbourhood market. She was also a stickler for cleanliness. Whatever that went into the cooking pot was washed several times. The kitchen was kept spic and span. She never ate food cooked by any others except her daughters.
She was frugal. She did not spend on unnecessary things and spent least on herself. She saved the money she earned to get her daughters married off and before that to acquire a piece of land to call her own, for the family.
She was upright in all her deals. She never short changed anyone. She sold bottles of milk as it was without diluting them and fixed a fair price for them. There were many who used to order from her for this reason. Some were delivered while others came to collect from the household their ordered portion of fresh mile.
She used to cook one curry, and one accompaniment, and there was home-made yohurt from fresh milk, and she included in the meal fried eggs sometimes. There was occasionally a little chicken feast as one of the brood was sacrificed. She was a very good cook and every dish she cooked was tasty. I can remember especially her pulli curry, vegetable preparations and non-veg curries.
She was a quiet personality and spoke what was needed. She did not like to speak about others. If she did not like someone or disagreed with someone, she stayed away and because of this earned a name, ‘the proud one from Siglap’. She did not involve herself in quarrels. Her daughters loved her dearly and they all used to have involved conversations every time they came together, especially after they all got married.
Her sons-in law respected her much. The most chatty of the lot was my father. They used to chat of matters comfortably. Aathaa respected her sons-in-law as per the custom she knew, stood up in their presence and spoke to them without looking into their faces.
She was a fearless person. She walked into the backyard in the dead of night, with no artificial light source around.
I remember that my grandmother went back to India once when I was in my late teens. Aathaa was probably in her late 50s then. My father was still alive at that time. She spent about a month or two there in India and returned home, never to go back again. She was the eldest amongst 4 children as much as we knew. Her two younger sisters were Kasi and Sithai and her youngest sibling, a brother, was known as Kailasam.
Aathaa’s favourite grandchild was my brother, Bala.
From my grandmother, I have learnt a few lessons in life: to be independent and never to rely on another for one’s needs and to be courageous in pursuing what one believed in. I have also acquired the tendency of being clean and tidy in all my practices from her, like in cooking.
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